You might work alongside someone every day who always seems polite, professional, and switched on. But what if that person is spending a huge amount of energy just to appear that way? That’s often the case for high masking neurodivergent employees.
Whether they’re autistic, have ADHD, or live with another form of neurodivergence, some people feel they have no choice but to hide parts of themselves in order to fit in. On the outside, everything might look fine. Inside, it’s often a very different story.
So what does high masking actually mean at work, and how can you be a more supportive colleague or manager? Let’s take a closer look.
What is Masking?
Masking is when a neurodivergent person suppresses or hides their natural traits in order to blend in with what’s seen as socially acceptable. In the workplace, this might include:
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Forcing eye contact even though it’s uncomfortable
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Preparing and rehearsing social interactions ahead of time
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Holding in fidgeting or stimming behaviours
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Trying not to speak too much or too little
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Staying quiet in group settings to avoid saying the wrong thing
Some people do this occasionally. Others do it all day, every day. That’s what we mean by high masking. And it’s exhausting.
Why Do People Mask at Work?
Most neurodivergent people start learning to mask from a young age. They learn what behaviour is praised, what’s corrected, and what makes them stand out. By the time they reach adulthood, many are used to putting on a version of themselves they think is more acceptable.
At work, the pressure is even greater. People want to be seen as professional, reliable, and easy to work with. For someone who communicates or processes information differently, the easiest way to achieve this might be to hide who they are.
But even if masking helps someone get through the day, it often comes at a personal cost.
The Impact of High Masking
People who mask tend to look like they’re doing fine. They may appear competent, friendly, and sociable. Because of this, they often go unnoticed when support is being offered.
Meanwhile, they might be:
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Mentally and emotionally drained
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Struggling with anxiety or burnout
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Afraid of being misunderstood or exposed
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Feeling like they’re performing rather than being themselves
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Losing their sense of identity
Masking is sometimes described as an invisible form of emotional labour. When it’s done constantly, it can be harmful to mental health and lead to long-term exhaustion.
Stories from High Masking Employees
Here are a few real experiences from people who have masked at work:
Sophia, a Marketing Executive with ADHD:
“I write and rewrite every message I send, just in case I come across as abrupt or unprofessional. It takes up so much energy.”
Zane, an autistic Software Engineer:
“I used to force myself to join casual office chats even though I didn’t know what to say. I thought it was expected. Then I’d go home and feel completely wiped out.”
Amira, a Project Manager with sensory processing difficulties:
“Team meetings with lots of noise made me feel on edge, but I didn’t want to say anything. I thought I had to just deal with it.”
These experiences are far from rare. They show how much effort some people put into simply appearing “okay.”
What Can Managers Do?
You don’t always need to know who is masking. What matters is creating a workplace where no one feels they have to.
1. Build psychological safety
Let people know they can speak up about their needs without fear of being judged. Encourage honesty and reassure people that being different is not a problem.
2. Offer flexibility
Quiet spaces, flexible hours, or remote working options can help people avoid the need to mask as much. Try offering adjustments as standard rather than waiting for someone to ask.
3. Keep communication clear and predictable
Use direct, consistent language. Share meeting agendas in advance and follow up in writing. Avoid vague feedback and unclear expectations.
4. Don’t reward masking
If someone seems to always be the “perfect employee,” check in. Ask how they’re really doing. Often, the people who seem most together are the ones trying the hardest to keep up appearances.
5. Use tools like working styles guides
Resources like Enna’s Working Styles Guide can help team members express their preferences without needing to disclose diagnoses. It also encourages everyone to reflect on how they work best.
What Can Colleagues Do?
Supporting neurodivergent teammates isn’t just a manager’s job. Here’s how to be a better colleague:
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Don’t judge someone for being quiet or needing space
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Avoid making jokes about “weird” behaviour, even if you mean well
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If someone seems off, ask if they’re okay in a private, respectful way
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Don’t pressure people to take part in casual office chat or social events
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Make room for different styles of communication and expression
You don’t need to know someone’s diagnosis to treat them with empathy.
Common Questions About High Masking
What does it mean to be a high masking autistic or ADHD employee?
It means someone is constantly suppressing their natural traits to appear more “typical” at work. This might include hiding how they really feel, forcing themselves to behave a certain way, or avoiding things that cause stress in silence.
Why is masking harmful?
Masking takes energy and often leads to burnout, anxiety, and loss of self. When someone feels they can’t be themselves, they may also stop seeking support or speaking up.
How can I make sure I’m not contributing to the pressure to mask?
Be open to difference. Avoid assumptions about how someone “should” behave. Make it clear that you value people for who they are, not how well they conform.
Final Thoughts
You might not always know who is masking in your workplace. That’s why creating a genuinely inclusive culture matters. When people feel they don’t have to hide their needs, they’re more likely to thrive, stay, and contribute their best work.
Supporting high masking neurodivergent employees isn’t about fixing people. It’s about fixing environments — and making space for everyone to work in a way that feels authentic, sustainable, and safe.
The next time someone seems quiet, overly agreeable, or unusually polished, consider what it might be costing them to keep that up. And ask yourself what you can do to make things easier.