When an employee tells you they are neurodivergent, how you respond in the first few minutes matters. Get it right and you build trust that makes everything afterwards easier. Get it wrong and they may never raise anything with you again.
Here is a step by step approach for managers and HR teams.
Step 1: Listen first
Give the person space to say what they want to say, without interrupting or jumping to solutions. Thank them for telling you. Something as simple as “Thank you for telling me. I’m glad you felt you could” sets the right tone.
Resist the urge to make it about you. You may have a neurodivergent friend or family member, but this isn’t the moment to share their story. Keep the focus on your colleague.
Step 2: Ask what they want from the conversation
Some people disclose because they need specific support. Others simply want you to know. Ask what, if anything, they would like to happen next, and don’t assume.
Step 3: Agree how the information is shared
Treat what they’ve told you as confidential. Ask who, if anyone, they are happy for you to tell, and get their agreement before you share it with HR or the wider team. Many neurodivergent people have had disclosures handled badly before, so this step is often what earns their trust.
Step 4: Learn about their experience, not just the label
Reading up on ADHD, autism, dyslexia or any other neurotype is useful background, and the Acas guidance on neurodiversity at work is a sensible place to start. But two people with the same diagnosis can have very different needs. The best source of information about your employee is your employee. Avoid stereotypes, and avoid assuming that you now know what they need.
Step 5: Take their experience seriously
Don’t minimise what they describe (“everyone gets distracted”) or rush to fix it. Acknowledge that parts of work may be harder for them as things stand, and make it clear you want to change that. A response like “Thanks for explaining. Let’s look at what we can change so work suits you better” puts the focus on the environment, which is where most barriers sit.
Step 6: Talk about adjustments when they’re ready
Work with the employee to identify any reasonable adjustments that would help. These might be changes to their working environment, hours, tasks or how information is shared. If you’re unsure whether a request is reasonable, our guide on how to decide whether an adjustment request is reasonable will help, and our page on your legal responsibilities sets out the basics.
If someone has only recently been diagnosed, they may not yet know what they need. That’s normal. Don’t push for answers, and agree to come back to it. A neurodiversity profile template can be a helpful way for them to set out how they work best in their own time. For autism specifically, our post on supporting an employee through an autism diagnosis goes into more detail.
Step 7: Keep the conversation going
A single meeting is rarely enough. Agree how and when you’ll check in, and ask how they prefer to communicate. Needs change over time, especially with a new role, a new manager or a change in workload.
Step 8: Look at the bigger picture
One disclosure is often a sign that others in your organisation haven’t felt able to speak up. Review whether your policies, processes and manager training make it easy for people to ask for what they need without having to disclose at all. Training for the wider team helps reduce stigma and means fewer people have to explain themselves from scratch.
How Enna can help
Responding well to disclosure is a skill managers can learn. Our Neurodiversity Awareness for Managers workshop covers these conversations in practice, including what to say and what to avoid. When an employee does need support, a workplace needs assessment gives you clear, specific recommendations. If you want to check whether your policies make disclosure feel safe, our neuroinclusion audits look at the whole employee experience. Book a call to talk it through with our team.
