By Anna Everts
This blog discusses how you can communicate your needs as an autistic adult within your job and gives you recommendations on how to start the conversation with your manager and colleagues. It is written by an autistic writer, for autistic job-seekers and employees.
For a lot of people, working nine to five is the norm, and you will likely spend a lot of time at work with your colleagues. This means it’s essential for the workplace to be somewhere you feel appreciated and understood. But the latter poses a problem for many autistic people. Being misunderstood is a common problem that autistic people face, and it can be really frustrating.
Frustrating as it may be, it’s not an unsolvable problem. By communicating clearly with your employer and your co-workers, it’s possible to create an environment where everyone’s needs are met. Here’s a short guide on how to start that conversation and what to expect.
1. Make a plan
If you want the conversation with your employer or co-workers to go smoothly, you need to know what you are going to say to them. Start by making a list of the topics you want to discuss. Is your workplace too noisy, and are you looking for somewhere quieter?
Write down why the noise bothers you, what effect it has on you and your work, what you would like to change about the situation and what the outcome would be.
For example:
“I’m very sensitive to sounds. At work I’ve found myself distracted by the sound of people typing or calling clients, and by the end of the day it often becomes overwhelming.
This affects my work, which is a shame. That’s why I’d like to start wearing noise-cancelling headphones to prevent sensory overload. That way I can do my job effectively.”
Another example:
“Recently I’ve noticed some friction between me and my colleagues. I’m not able to complete my tasks correctly because I feel like I’m missing information. I find it hard to explain this to my colleagues and I don’t want to take up too much of their time by asking lots of questions every time.
That’s why I suggest making a briefing template that answers all the questions at once. I’m more than willing to create it. Colleagues can then fill in the briefing document and email it to me at the start of a task. This saves both of us a lot of time.”
For every problem you face, write down a possible solution. If you can’t find one, ask your employer or co-workers to think of some solutions with you. What matters is showing that you’re making an effort to solve it.
You can use this plan as notes for your conversation or as a script. Do what works best for you, and keep in mind that people won’t be able to help you if they don’t know what the problem is. If you find it hard to put things into words on paper, ask someone you trust to help you. Our working styles guide and disclosure templates can also give you a starting point.
2. Plan the conversation
Sometimes it’s difficult to pick the right moment for a conversation. A conversation like this can be nerve-racking and takes some courage. It can be hard to read the other person. Are they busy? Are they in the right mood for this?
Once you’ve gathered your nerve, pick a moment to approach the person you want to talk to. Check whether they have time. If their schedule is full, they might not be able to give you the time you need to explain your situation. That’s why you could ask something along these lines:
“There’s something I’d like to discuss with you and it might take some time. Can we schedule a moment for this conversation?”
By saying this, you let the other person know you need a conversation, while also giving them time to process it and pick a moment that works for them as well. It means both of you go into the conversation prepared.
3. Have the conversation
Probably the scariest part of all this is the conversation itself. There’s no way of knowing the outcome beforehand, and that can be enough to make anyone nervous. So as you go into the meeting, keep your notes close and make sure you’ve written down everything you want to say.
Listen to the other person and show that you understand. At the end of the conversation both of you need to know what the other thinks about the issue. That’s why it’s important to communicate clearly and listen carefully.
If you feel you’re not being listened to, or you’re being misunderstood, say so. This conversation is meant to help you, not make things worse. Stay polite and try to stay calm.
If nothing has changed by the end of the conversation, see if you can talk to someone else, or bring someone with you to the next conversation. Sometimes other people can explain the issue more clearly. There’s no shame in asking for help. In the UK, employers have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments for disabled employees, and autistic people are often covered.
4. Evaluate
After you’ve had the conversation and things have been set in motion, look at the situation again. How are things going now? Are you still facing the same issues? Is there still room for improvement?
It’s a good idea to schedule another meeting with your employer or co-worker, depending on who you had the first conversation with, and review things together. Working with others takes teamwork, which means both sides need to put in the work to make it a success.
How Enna can help you get the right support at work
If you would like an expert to help pin down what you need, a workplace needs assessment sets out practical adjustments that you and your employer can agree on, and one-to-one workplace coaching can help you prepare for conversations like these. You might want to share these pages with your manager or HR team.
If your current job isn’t working out, the Enna jobs board lists roles with employers who are committed to neuroinclusion.
