When an employee tells you they’re autistic, have ADHD, are dyslexic or are neurodivergent in another way, they’re trusting you with something personal. How you respond in the first few minutes can decide whether they feel safe asking for what they need, and whether they stay.
Nobody has to tell their employer they’re neurodivergent. As Acas points out in its guidance on talking about neurodiversity, many people hold back because they fear a negative reaction or being stereotyped. If someone does tell you, take it as a sign of trust. Here’s how to make the conversation count.
Thank them and listen
Start simply. Thank them for telling you, and let them lead. Don’t jump straight to how it might affect their performance, and don’t share what you know about someone else with the same diagnosis. Every neurodivergent person is different.
Open questions work well, such as “What would be useful for me to know?” or “What helps you do your best work?” Some people arrive with a clear list of needs. Others haven’t thought it through yet, especially if their diagnosis is recent. Both are fine.
Focus on what would help
The conversation should be practical. Ask which parts of the job, the environment or the way the team works create barriers, and what might remove them. That could mean written notes after meetings, a quieter place to work, flexible hours or assistive software.
Being neurodivergent will often count as a disability under the Equality Act 2010, so you may have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments. Our guide to reasonable adjustments and your legal responsibilities explains what that means. Support shouldn’t depend on a formal diagnosis.
Be honest about what you can do
It’s tempting to promise everything in the moment. Don’t. If you’re not sure whether an adjustment is possible, say you’ll find out and give a date when you’ll come back to them. Then do it. A manager who follows through on a modest promise earns more trust than one who over-promises and goes quiet.
If needs are complex, a workplace needs assessment gives you both a clear set of recommendations to work from.
Agree on confidentiality
Ask who, if anyone, they want you to tell. Some people are happy for the team to know. Others want it kept between you and HR. Respect that, and check before sharing anything, however good your intentions.
Don’t judge by neurotypical norms
Some autistic people make less eye contact or show less facial expression in conversation. Some people with ADHD talk quickly or jump between topics. Many neurodivergent people stim, for example by tapping, fidgeting or jiggling a leg, which often helps them focus or stay regulated. None of this means someone is uninterested or rude. Don’t comment on it or try to stop it.
Offer more than one way to contribute. Some people find it easier to share their thoughts in writing after a meeting, so let them follow up by email if that suits them. A working styles guide can help you both capture what works. Employees preparing to disclose may also find our disclosure templates useful.
Keep the conversation going
Disclosure starts a conversation rather than closing one. Agree a time to review how things are going, and treat adjustments as something you can change. Needs shift with new roles, new managers and new projects, and everyday policies can need a second look. Our article on camera-on policies and reasonable adjustments is a good example.
How Enna can help
Disclosure conversations go better when managers have practised them. Our neuroinclusive management conversations workshop gives managers the language and confidence for moments like these, and our workplace coaching supports employees and managers while adjustments bed in. To talk about what your organisation needs, book a call with us.
