Telling your manager that you’re neurodivergent is a personal decision, and there’s no obligation to do it. For many people, though, it’s what opens the door to the adjustments and understanding that make work go better. This guide breaks the conversation into steps, from working out what you want to say to keeping things on track afterwards, with templates you can use along the way.
Step 1: Get clear on how you work
Before you talk to anyone, spend some time thinking about your own profile. These prompts can help.
Know your traits
Think about the traits that make up how you think and work, whether you have a formal diagnosis or are still exploring. Our page on how neurodiversity shows up at work may help you recognise some of them.
Look for patterns
Reflect on times you’ve done your best work and times things were harder. What was going on in each? Was it the environment, the type of task, how instructions were given? Patterns often point straight to the adjustments that would help.
Name your strengths
Be specific about what you’re good at. It might be attention to detail, spotting patterns, creative problem-solving, deep focus or seeing a fresh angle. Leading with strengths sets a constructive tone.
Note the barriers and what helps
Identify where things get in the way, for example time pressure, unclear instructions, open-plan noise or back-to-back meetings. Then note the strategies you already use, such as visual planners, routines, quiet spaces or particular apps. These are the raw material for your conversation.
Step 2: Find out what your organisation offers
Check whether your employer already has support in place. That tells you where to go and what to expect. Look for:
- A neurodiversity, disability or wider inclusion network
- An inclusion or reasonable adjustments policy
- An occupational health service
- An HR contact or adjustments passport process
Knowing the formal routes helps you decide whether to start with your manager, HR or a network.
Step 3: Decide how to share
Choose the format that suits the way you communicate best.
Talking face to face
A conversation lets you answer questions straight away and gauge your manager’s response. If you go this way, ask for a private space and a time when neither of you is rushed.
Writing it down
An email or letter gives you time to choose your words and lets your manager read it more than once. It also creates a record. Our disclosure statement template gives you a ready structure.
Many people combine the two: a short email first, then a conversation.
Step 4: Pick your moment
If you’re talking in person, timing helps:
- A regular one-to-one is often ideal, because the time is already set aside for you.
- Avoid moments when your manager is visibly under pressure or about to hit a deadline.
- Choose a time and place without interruptions.
- Think about your own workload too. If things are already difficult because the right support isn’t in place, that’s a reason to raise it sooner rather than later.
Step 5: Plan what you’ll say
Preparing in advance makes the conversation easier. Keep your points short and concrete. A simple outline:
- A plain description of how you think and work
- Where that helps you do your job well
- Specific situations where you meet barriers
- What you already do that helps
- The adjustments or support you’d like to try
- How those changes would benefit your work and the team
- An invitation for your manager to ask questions
Our neurodiversity profile template walks you through these points, and you can download our disclosing to your manager checklist (PDF) to use on the day.
Step 6: Ask for what you need
This is the part people most often skip, so be direct about it.
It’s fine not to have all the answers
If you’ve been diagnosed recently, or are still waiting for an assessment, you may not know yet which adjustments will work. Say so, and suggest trying some changes and reviewing them. You don’t need a diagnosis to ask; our guide to reasonable adjustments while you’re going through a diagnosis explains why.
Focus on barriers and solutions
Describe what gets in the way and suggest practical changes, for example written instructions after meetings, a quieter desk or flexibility over start times. Invite your manager’s ideas too, since they know the role and the team.
Point to existing support
Mention the policies, networks or occupational health service you found in step 2. It shows you’ve done your homework and gives your manager a clear next step. Acas guidance on asking for reasonable adjustments is useful background for both of you.
Agree to keep talking
Needs change over time. Suggest a date to review how the adjustments are working and agree how you’ll raise anything new.
Step 7: Handle questions and concerns
Your manager may have questions, and that’s normal. Answer what you’re comfortable answering and share resources if they want to learn more. You don’t have to explain every detail of your diagnosis or your history. If the conversation goes badly, you can take it to HR or your organisation’s network.
How Enna can help
Disclosure goes best when managers know how to respond. If you’re an employer, our Neuroinclusive Management Conversations workshop prepares managers to handle these discussions well, and a workplace needs assessment turns a disclosure into a clear set of adjustments. Book a call to find out more.
If you’ve disclosed and still don’t feel supported, it may be time to look elsewhere. The Enna jobs board lists roles with employers who take neuroinclusion seriously.
