Ask a group of ADHD adults about feedback at work and you will often hear the same story. A throwaway comment from a manager, a meeting that went quiet, an email with no sign-off, and then hours or days of replaying it. Many people describe this as rejection sensitive dysphoria, or RSD. Plenty of managers have never heard the term, yet it shapes how some of their team experience feedback, appraisals and everyday conversations.
This toolkit explains what RSD is, how it can show up at work and the practical changes managers can make.
What is rejection sensitive dysphoria?
RSD describes intense emotional pain in response to real or perceived rejection, criticism or failure. The reaction can be fast and overwhelming: shame, a sense of worthlessness, anger or a strong urge to withdraw, sometimes after a comment that was meant to be neutral.
It is not an official diagnosis and does not appear in diagnostic manuals. The term is most closely associated with ADHD, and Understood explains that research on it is still limited. Many autistic people and others also describe similar experiences. For managers the label matters less than the pattern: some people feel criticism far more intensely than others, and the way feedback is given makes a real difference.
Why managers need to know about it
Without that context, a strong reaction to feedback can be read as overreacting or being unprofessional. That reading tends to make things worse. Feedback conversations get avoided, small issues grow, and trust between manager and employee wears away.
Understanding RSD lets you adjust how you communicate so the message lands as intended. It also protects you as a manager. Our article on what the Lidl tribunal case teaches employers about feedback shows how badly things can go when this is missed.
How it can show up at work
You might notice someone pulling back after feedback, reacting strongly to a small setback, or working to an exhausting standard of perfection to avoid any criticism. Some people avoid putting ideas forward in meetings, or apologise and over-explain after minor mistakes.
None of this is attention-seeking or manipulative. It is an involuntary reaction, and many people work hard to hide it, so what you see may be the tip of it. Our page on ADHD in the workplace covers the wider picture.
Giving feedback that lands well
You cannot remove every chance of someone feeling criticised, and you should not stop giving feedback. You can remove a lot of unnecessary sting.
Be specific
Vague comments leave room for the worst interpretation. “This report isn’t good enough” invites someone to fill in the gaps. “The structure of the introduction works well. Could you add the regional figures to section two?” tells them exactly what to do.
Say what is working
Name real strengths alongside the changes you need. Genuine, specific praise helps the person keep the criticism in proportion.
Explain why you are giving it
Something as simple as “I’m raising this because I want your next report to make the case as strongly as possible” makes the intent clear.
Keep it private
Even mild correction in front of colleagues can feel humiliating. Save it for one-to-ones.
Follow up in writing
A short summary after the conversation stops a single comment being replayed out of context and gives a clear record of what was agreed.
Building a team culture that helps
The biggest gains come from how the whole team works day to day.
Talk about your own mistakes calmly, so errors are treated as normal. Hold regular, low-key check-ins so problems come up early, rather than saving everything for an annual review. Ask each person how they prefer to receive feedback: written or spoken, straight away or after time to think. Our working styles guide is a simple way to start that conversation across a team.
When someone is having a strong reaction
Stay calm and do not get defensive. Offer space if they need it, and make it clear you are available when they are ready. It can help to say plainly that you value their work and that the feedback is about one task, not about them as a person. Before the conversation ends, agree a concrete next step so they leave with a plan rather than a feeling.
Two examples
An employee submits a rushed report. Instead of “You need to do better than this”, try: “Some key details are missing from this. Can we go through it together so you know exactly what’s needed? Thanks for turning it round so quickly.”
An employee seems upset after a meeting. Rather than ignoring it, try: “You seemed a bit flat after our chat earlier. Is there anything I could have explained better?”
For more phrasing ideas, see our tips for communicating with people who have RSD.
Why this helps the whole team
Clear, specific, private feedback is better management for everyone. Teams where mistakes can be raised early make fewer expensive ones, and people who trust their manager are more likely to stay. Managers who get this right tend to find that neurodivergent staff bring more ideas forward, not fewer.
How Enna can help
Feedback is where a lot of good intentions fall apart. Our Neuroinclusive Performance Management workshop gives managers practical ways to set expectations and give feedback that works for different minds, and our Neuroinclusive Management Conversations session focuses on the one-to-ones where RSD most often surfaces.
Where a specific relationship is under strain, workplace coaching can support both the employee and their manager. Book a call to talk about what your managers need.
